Titanic: Rose's Journey
by Tipperose
Summary: A novelization of the movie from Rose's POV. I am using my own style and imagination to open the door to Rose's mind and see what she was thinking and feeling while falling in love with Jack. Please read and review but above all, enjoy the story.
1. Southampton

**Chapter One**

_**Southampton**_

There was no need to rush. At least that was my opinion. I glanced around at my mother and my fiancée, both were cool and composed as usual. I didn't want to be here in this automobile, but that made little difference. I was here and I was on my way home to America, where upon our arrival, Caledon Hockley and I were going to be married.

"There she is, Rose." Cal said to me as he motioned out of the window. "The grandest ship in the Atlantic waters - _Titanic_."

I spared a glance out of the window but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing any approval. I was not happy and there was no need in pretending to be otherwise.

The Renault slowly made its way down to the White Star Line dock. I was amazed at the mass of people that were everywhere I looked. They were all there to see the grand ship make her departure I supposed.

Harrison beeped the horn as he drove, sending the crowd in opposite directions on either side of us. He brought the Renault to a stop and Capshaw immediately opened the door for me. As I had always been taught, I gingerly placed my hand in his and gracefully stepped out onto the pavement. I glanced up at the massive ship and instantly felt overwhelmed by its size. As I gazed upon it, I couldn't help but feel as if this were a slave ship taking me back to prison.

I'm sure if anyone could have read my thoughts they would have thought me insane. What could I possibly have to complain about? I was well bred, schooled, wealthy and marrying a man who was my equal. But, if they only knew what I really longed for…

At that time Cal stepped out from the Renault behind me. His superior smile set me on edge and wanted to erase if from his face.

"I don't see what all of the fuss is about," I commented dryly as I turned to him. "It doesn't look any bigger than the _Mauritania_."

Cal looked at me in mild astonishment. "You can be blasé about some things, Rose but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than _Mauritania_ and far more luxurious."

Cal turned to my mother and offered her his hand as she stepped down. "Your daughter's far too difficult to impress, Ruth."

My mother laughed at Cal's comment. "So, this is the ship they say is 'unsinkable'."

"It is unsinkable," Cal declared. "Not even God himself could not sink this ship."

I turned away from them and wished I could run at that moment. I tried so very hard to look disinterested as I waited for them.

"Sir, sir," a porter called behind us. "You have to check your baggage through the main terminal. It's round that way, sir."

Cal immediately pulled a roll of money from his pocket and handed the porter a five pound note. "I put my faith in you, good sir. Now kindly see my man."

His man was Spicer Lovejoy. I didn't like him and he wasn't particularly fond of me, either.

"Oh, yes sir." The man stammered over himself. "My pleasure, sir." Cal had told me once that he never ceased to be amazed at the effect money had on people of lower stations. He liked to see them grovel.

I came around the Renault to make sure Trudy had gotten my personal bags. Cal called to us as he stared down at his opened watch.

"Ladies, we'd better hurry."

I felt myself stiffen when he came around to join us. He walked ahead with my mother leaving to me trail behind them, for which I was glad. I turned to Trudy who was balances several boxes and bags. "My coat?"

"I have it, miss." Trudy answered.

Cal stepped away from my mother and came back to me. "Stop lagging behind, Rose. Now take my arm like a good girl."

Reluctantly I did as he asked me and we walked together up the gangplank. I could hear the roar of the crowd behind me as everyone cheered and waved goodbye to the passengers already on board.

As we entered the doorway I knew there was no turning back. I had no place to go but to my to my future, no matter how dismal that prospect seemed.


	2. Leaving Port

**This is my second attempt at writing Titanic from Rose's POV. Hope you enjoy it, it's not long, but since I'm going by scenes, some will be longer than others.**

**I guess I'd better disclaimer here that I don't own Titanic or the characters, James Cameron does. I'm just enhancing his brilliance with my version of events. **

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**Chapter Two**

_**Leaving Port**_

We entered our suite and I was immediately impressed, but again I refused to let Cal have any satisfaction in knowing that. The servants began bringing in our bags and the crates that held my paintings. I was fascinated with them… the colors, the strokes. It was a world that I could only look upon but wished that I could become a part of.

There was one in particular that stood out to me and I wanted to set it out to look upon it. I asked Trudy to help me as I wafted through the crates.

"This one?" Trudy asked holding one out for me.

"No," I replied. "It had a lot of faces on it." Suddenly, I found it and lifted it from the crate. "This is the one."

"Do you want all them out?" Trudy asked.

"Yes, we need a little color in this room." I answered her still holding the painting. I held it up for closer inspection when a porter came in at that moment bearing more of Cal's luggage.

"Ah, put it in there. In the wardrobe." Lovejoy immediately directed him.

Cal entered the room from the promenade deck and saw what Trudy and I were doing. "God, not those finger paintings again," he exclaimed. "They certainly were a waste of money."

I cringed for a moment at his criticism. He had told me on more than one occasion over the last few weeks what he thought of my paintings. Cal was not a lover of art in any form, his only love was money and the art of making more of it.

Turning away from him I responded with a thinly veiled insult. "The difference between Cal's taste in art and mine is that I have some. I think they're fascinating." I said as I sat the painting down on the sofa. "It's like being in a dream or something. There's truth but no logic."

"What's the artist's name?" Trudy questioned me.

"Something Picasso…" I told her absently.

"Something Picasso," Cal sneered laughingly behind me. "He won't amount to a thing. He won't… trust me."

I had to get out of that room, away from Cal and his presence. It was as if he was suffocating me and I couldn't breathe. I picked up the Degas and walked into my suite with Trudy behind me.

"At least they were cheap." I heard him tell Lovejoy, who once again directed the porter as he brought in Cal's safe. He took it everywhere we went all over Europe. No matter where we were, that safe was with us.

Later that evening we anchored in Cherbourg, France where more passengers embarked and from there to the coast of Ireland where more passengers embarked, mainly from third class. By the next afternoon we were steaming west with nothing out in front of us but ocean.


	3. First Glance

**Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy the next installment of Rose's Journey. Thanks for reading and as always, review please! I'm a review junkie, I admit it.**

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**Chapter Three**

_**First Glance**_

We were invited to the Palm Court to have lunch with Bruce Ismay and company that afternoon. I really didn't want to go, but Mother gave me no choice.

"Really Rose, must you always be so obstinate?" she asked under her breath as we made our way down the A deck.

"Only when I'm forced to do something I don't want to," I replied rather coldly to her. I didn't want to feel this way toward my mother but I couldn't seem to help myself.

"Cal is expecting us and I expect for you to be on your best behavior. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Mother," I answered stepping ahead of her.

When we reached the Palm Court, Cal greeted us and immediately pulled out a seat for mother and myself. "I was beginning to wonder where you were," he said turning his head slightly to me.

"I misplaced something but I found it."I told him as I reached up for my napkin. I folded it and laid it across my lap.

"Sit up straight, Rose." My mother whispered. "Your back is touching the seat."

I bit my lip to keep from responding but did as my mother had asked. I felt frustration rumble inside of me. I hated the way everyone was always telling me what to do. How to sit, how to eat, how to talk and even to walk.

"What a marvelous ship this is, Mr. Ismay," Mother said smiling demurely at him.

"Thank you, Mrs. DeWitt-Bukater," Mr. Ismay answered. "I hope you approve of your accommodations."

"Oh yes, they're lovely, very impressive. I don't believe I've ever seen anything like it."

Mr. Ismay seemed pleased with my mother's interest. Puffing his chest out proudly he smiled broadly as he spoke. "The Titanic is a wonder. She is the largest moving object ever made by the hand of man in all history. Our master designer Mr. Andrews designed her from the keel plates up."

Mr. Andrews smiled humbly as he shook his head. "I may have knocked her together, but the idea was Mr. Ismay's. He envisioned a steamer so grand in scale, and so luxurious in its appointments, that its supremacy would never be challenged. And here she is…" he slapped the table with his hand. "Willed into solid reality."

Supreme male laughter filtered around the table. "Here, here," Cal said beside me. Bored by all of the talk around me, I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

"You know I don't like that, Rose," my mother said quietly. Turning to her, I blew smoke in her face. It was wrong I know, but it was also a little satisfying.

"She knows," Cal said and before I could even react, he pulled the cigarette from the holder and snuffed it out. It was one of the things I despised about him. He was always taking it upon himself to choose what I did or didn't do as if he owned me.

"We'll both have the lamb, rare, with very little mint sauce." Cal told the waiter who had came up at that time. "You like lamb, right sweetpea?" he asked turning to me.

Holding back what I really wanted to say, I merely smiled at him as pleasantly as I could muster.

"You gonna cut her meat there for her, too, Cal?" Molly asked bit tauntingly toward him. But, she gave him no room to answer before turning to Mr. Andrews and Mr. Ismay. "Hey, uh, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce?"

"Yes, actually," Mr. Ismay answered with a self-satisfied laugh. "I wanted to convey sheer size, and size means stability, luxury and above all, strength."

I couldn't stand it another minute. The man was so pompous and pretentious it was nauseating. I'd give him a lesson in size, one he wouldn't soon forget. "Have you ever heard of Dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay?" I asked rather innocently. "His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you?"

The titter of laughter filtered around the table, from everyone that is except my mother and Cal. I could feel my mother stiffen next to me.

"What's gotten into you?" she whispered in a strained voice.

I didn't answer, of course. I couldn't tell her what had gotten into me, for I really didn't know myself. I just knew that I had to get out of that room before I burst into a million pieces. "Excuse me," I said standing.

I made my way across the Palm Court and out onto the boat deck. The fresh, salt sea air blew around me as I stepped out into the sunshine. Seeing the railing in front of me, I walked over to it and looked down on the mass of third class passengers that milled around below.

Everyone looked so happy and joyous as they talked, strolled and huddled in groups. Over to my left I saw a group of unkempt young men talking to each other. One stood out to me for some unknown reason, perhaps because he was holding a sketch pad. Was he some sort of artist?

Suddenly the young man looked up at me and for an instant our eyes locked. I was taken aback at the way in which he stared at me. I know I shouldn't have continued staring at him, but I couldn't seem not to.

At that moment Cal came up behind me and grabbed my arm. "I can't believe your behavior in there."

"Do you mind?" I snapped.

"I hope you're proud of yourself."

I didn't want to hear his lectures nor did I want to hear his criticism of my behavior. I simply was not in the mood to deal with him. Pulling away from him, I left him standing on the deck as I made my way back to our suite of rooms. I knew I would pay for this act of subordination later, but for now I only wanted to be away from him and the feeling of confinement he brought with him when he was near me.


	4. No Way Out

**Here's the next installment. I tried to break the scene up a bit, so I sort of made up this chapter title. 'No way out' seemed fitting for what Rose was experiencing, so I went with it.Thanks for the reviews as always. **

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**Chapter Four**

_**No Way Out**_

Later that evening when it was time to dress for dinner, Cal suggested that I wear the red satin gown with a black netting overlay that he had purchased for me in Paris. Not wanting to exacerbate things after what had occurred at lunch, I complied with his request. Still feeling uneasy and on edge, I sought a way out of going to dinner to no avail.

After Trudy finished with my hair Cal and I joined my mother and we made our way to the first class dining area. We were immediately seated with the Duff-Gordon's and the Countess of Rothes. As always happened, the talk turned to the usual gossip and mindless chatter about everything and nothing. I sat around the table, invisible as if it were only the chair sitting there.

I glanced at Cal and then at Mother and realized that this was my life. There was no way to change it and there was no way out of it. The prospect was overwhelming and this sudden feeling of desperation came over me. I didn't want this life, it wasn't mine, and it wasn't what I wanted. It was as if I were living someone else's life instead of my own.

The longer I sat there, the more intense this feeling became until I thought I would burst from it. I stood and excused myself, needing to get out of that room as quickly as possible. I nearly ran to the stateroom where hopefully Trudy was there to help me remove myself from my gown. But, when I entered and called for her she wasn't there.

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself I walked over the mirror, tearing the long, black gloves from my arms as I did. I called for Trudy again hoping that perhaps she didn't hear me, but still no answer came from her.

I was almost frantic now to get out of that constricting gown. Somehow it was almost as if the gown represented my life. I reached around back and tried to unlatch the buttons but my efforts were futile. My desperation was reaching a fever pitch now. I had to get out of that dress! I tried again but no matter what I did nothing helped. I could feel my lungs gasping for air and the whole room began to close in on me. I pulled at the dress on the shoulder but nothing happened. I screamed in my irritation. Everything was wrong, everything!

With shaking hands I ripped the necklace from around my neck and started pulling pins out of my hair. I didn't care that I was hurting myself, I had to release myself from this constriction I felt.

There was no way out! There was no way out! I could hear in my head. Tears spilled hot and wet from my eyes. No! This wasn't right! I wanted out! I wanted to be free from all of this! I wanted to hit something, anything! I picked up my jewelry box and slammed it down on the ground and then I grabbed my silver, hand mirror. With a frustrated scream I threw it across the room and then the silver plate and whatever else I could find.

Why was I forced into this life! Why! I swung around and fell into the dresser and that's when I saw my reflection staring back at from the mirror. I saw myself then and I hated what I saw looking back at me. I was a porcelain doll with nothing inside and I was never going to escape this life they had me trapped in, I was never going to be free. Never.

I hit the mirror and spun toward the door. Choking back tears, I ran into the hallway and down the corridor toward the doors leading to the Promenade Deck. I didn't care who saw me then, I didn't care about anything. I just ran and ran trying to escape the image in the mirror. I ran wildly, not caring where I was going or who I ran into.

I slammed through the double doors and felt the cold, night air surround me. The dark expanse of the ocean was all around me as I made my way down the deck. Tears ran unchecked down my face now but I simply didn't care. I don't know how I ended up where I did, but suddenly I was nearing the back of the ship. Harder and harder I ran until I fell into a wheel of some sort. I grabbed it and took several deep breaths. Desperation was near, I could feel it reaching for me. That's when I saw the railing in front of me. Slowly, I walked toward it, only looking back once to see if anyone was around.

I stood there for a moment looking out at the darkness, hearing but not seeing the cold, Atlantic waters beneath the ship. That's when the idea began to form in my head. If there was no way out of my life in this world, then perhaps I could escape it in the next. Fear froze me for a moment, but I pushed it aside. I'd rather be dead then to continue with the life I was living. I felt dead inside anyway and useless to anyone, so what did it matter what happened to me?

My decision was made. I reached for the cold railing and began my slow descent to the top. Grabbing the rope attached to the pole, I lifted myself over the top rail and then back down turning toward the rumbling sea below.

My stomach fluttered wildly as I held onto the railing. One little slip, just one release of my hands and it was over. I braced myself, taking several deep breaths. Then, I pushed myself out, extending my arms behind me. I wanted it to be fast. Once I let go, that was it. My heart was pounding so loud in my ears it rivaled the roaring below. Fear gripped me hard, but I had to do it. I couldn't turn back now. I only had to let go.


	5. You jump, I jump

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm so glad you all are liking the story so far. I should say here that I'm not getting anything from this other than the enjoyment of writing my version of Rose's feelings. Everything else is James Cameron's and rightly so. **

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**Chapter Five**

"_**You jump, I jump"**_

Tightly I held on to the rail as I extended myself out. What was I doing? Was this really the answer to my problems?

"Don't do it."

I spun around when I heard someone speak. It frightened me as well as startled me. "Stay back," I ordered in my fear. I saw then that it was a young man. He was dressed rather shabbily with scruffy blond hair and clear, blue eyes. Something was familiar about him but I was too confused to know why. I found my voice again although it did sound strange in my own ears. "Don't come any closer."

He started walking towards me with his hand out. "Come on, just give me your hand and I'll put you back over."

"No! Stay where you are. I mean it," I shook my head. "I'll let go." I threatened so as to let him know I was serious about what I was doing. I watched him as he held up his hand while he took another drag on his cigarette. Then he pointed the cigarette toward the back of the ship to let me know he was going to throw it away. With one flick he sent it flying and then stepped to the side and put his hands in his pockets.

"No, you won't," he answered calmly.

I stared at him for a moment confused by his manner. Who did this grubby looking boy think he was? "What do you mean, _no, I won't_? Don't presume to tell me what I will or will not do. You don't know me."

"Well," he slightly shrugged. "You woulda done it already."

Frustrated, I tried to defend my obviously not well thought out plan. "You're distracting me. Go away!"

"I can't now. I'm involved. You let go and I'm gonna have to jump in there after ya." Even as he spoke those words he was pulling his coat off.

"Don't be absurd," I replied, taken aback at his answer. "You'd be killed."

"I'm a good swimmer," he answered as he bent to untie his shoes.

"The fall alone would kill you," I said trying to make him see what he was saying.

"It would hurt. I'm not saying it wouldn't. To tell you the truth I'm a lot more concerned about that water being so cold."

He lifted a boot off and threw it aside, but he was watching me the whole time. I glanced down at the churning, black water below me and realized that I had not given that any thought. "How cold?" I finally asked him.

"Freezing," he answered immediately. "Maybe a couple degrees over." He finished this by taking off the other boot.

I was beginning to sway in my decision now. It was obvious that my rash decision held consequences that I had not considered.

"You ah, you ever been to Wisconsin?" he suddenly asked.

"What?" I asked confused by his sudden change of conversation. What did Wisconsin have to do with anything?

"Well, they have the coldest winters around. I grew up there near Chippewa Falls. I remember when I was a kid, me and my father went ice fishing out on Lake Wisota… ice fishing is you know where you-"

"I know what ice fishing is!" I exclaimed with a huff. Why was he going on and on about ice fishing? Couldn't he see that I was facing something more important than this nonsense he was going on about?

"Sorry," he held up his hands. "You just seem like, you know, kind of an indoor girl." He paused for a moment before he continued with his story. "Anyway, I fell through some thin ice and I'm tellin' ya, water that cold, like right down there… it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breath, you can't think… at least not about anything but the pain." He stopped and looked over the side grimly. "Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumpin' in there after ya." He stepped back then and pulled off his worn vest. "Like I said, I don't have a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the rail and get me off the hook here."

I stared at him, not sure what to make of this disheveled young man who was trying to tell me, in his expressive way, that he was willing to risk his life to save mine. I was confused now and not sure of what I was doing. Why did he have to keep talking and make me doubt myself?

"You're crazy!" I threw out and turned back around to face the water.

"That's what everybody says, but with all due respect Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship."

I felt him come closer behind me as he lowered his voice to a soothing tone. "Come on," he implored. "Come on give me your hand. You don't want to do this." He reached around and offered his hand to me.

I let out the breath I had been holding. No, I really didn't want to do this. I didn't want to die, I wanted to live. As quickly as I had made the decision to end my life, I as quickly made the decision to live it. Somehow he had penetrated my scrambled thinking and made me see that no matter how desperate I was, this was not the answer.

I let go of the rail and gripped my hand in his. It was somewhat rough but it made me feel safe when I took it. I slowly turned myself around to face him and that's when he smiled.

"I'm Jack Dawson," he introduced himself as if we were standing in the middle of a ballroom instead of in the middle of the Atlantic in the situation we were in.

"Rose DeWitt-Bukater," I answered in return. His smile turned in low chuckle.

"I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down."

I couldn't help but laugh myself. It caught me off guard and I couldn't believe he had made me laugh considering what had occurred up to that point.

"Come on," he said as he lifted my arm.

Without any further hesitation I started my climb over the rail. I lifted my foot and pushed myself up but before I even knew what had happened I slipped and was suddenly hanging off the back of the ship! I screamed as I felt myself fall but Jack grabbed me with both hands to prevent me from going further.

I was gripped in fear so intense I could hardly breathe! I was dangling precariously over the black churning waters I had wanted to jump into earlier but now desperately wanted to avoid. Oh God, this wasn't happening! It couldn't! Screams rumbled in my throat as I looked up at Jack who was trying hard to pull me back.

"I gotcha! Come on!"

I grabbed the lowest rung on the rail and tried to pull myself back up but I wasn't strong enough. In spite of my efforts I slipped again! I screamed hysterically in my fear this time. I didn't want to die! "Help me please, help me please! Please, please help me!"

"Listen, I've got you!" Jack yelled down to me. "I won't let go. Pull yourself up, come on!"

With a strong tug he pulled on my arm. I don't know if it was my fear or the fact that I knew I could trust him, whatever it was I found the strength to grab the rung again. This time I felt myself going up. With each rung on the rail I was gaining ground and Jack was holding on tightly encouraging me all the way.

Finally I made it to the top! Oh thank God! Thank God! Jack grabbed me around the waist and with one final, hard pull of his strength he had me over the rail! With a thud we both landed hard on the deck, but I didn't care. I was safe and alive!

The sound of approaching footsteps interrupted the scene as three sailors ran up and looked at us, the shock on their faces clearly evident. Besides the fact I was on the ground with Jack nearly on top of me, my dress was torn from the knee down where I had slipped. Had I been thinking clearly I would have told them what happened, but I was still so frightened I couldn't find the words.

"Stand back and don't move an inch!" One of the men yelled at Jack, who did as he was told. He then turned to his crewmates and pointed. "Get the Master at Arms!"


	6. An Invitation to Dinner

**Thanks so much for the reviews. I really love doing this and I hope you like reading it. On we go...**

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**Chapter Six**

_**An Invitation to Dinner** _

I was badly shaken and too scared to realize what was going on. The sailors helped me to my feet as I stumbled over to the nearby bench. I told them my name and I was immediately recognized as the fiancée to Caledon Hockley. As I waited for his arrival a blanket was put around my shoulders to ward off the cold. I glanced over at Jack and wanted to express my thanks to him but before I could get a word out, Cal, Lovejoy and Colonel Gracie arrived and my intentions were cut short. It was only moments later that the Master at Arms arrived and they pulled Jack away from where I was sitting.

"Are you alright? What happened?" Cal immediately inundated me with questions.

"Sir, if you'll step over here for a moment," one of the sailors said to him. Cal did and the man explained the scene to him as he knew it. I wanted to badly speak up but if Cal knew, or even suspected at what I had tried to do there was no telling what would happen. Colonel Gracie offered me a sip of brandy, but I declined it watching for Cal's reaction.

As I had predicted, as soon as the sailor recounted the story he immediately went into a tailspin.

"This is completely unacceptable! What made you think you could put your hands on _my_ fiancée'?" Cal thundered as the Master at Arms clinched Jack in handcuffs.

I couldn't stand it any longer. Jack was being accused of something horrible and I had it in my power to stop it. I only had to speak up.

"Look at me you filth!" I heard Cal snap at Jack.

"Cal," I called him.

"What do you think you were doing?" Suddenly he grabbed Jack and began pushing him.  
"Cal!" I jumped up and ran over to them. "Stop! It was an accident."

Cal looked down at me as if I had lost my mind. "An accident?" he repeated, clearly not sure what to believe.

"It was. Stupid really," I decided to play ignorance. It was my only defense at this point. I made a point to look at Jack as I spoke. "I was leaning over and I slipped. I was leaning far over to see the, uh…" I looked at Jack who was looking at me waiting for what I would say, "the, uh, uh, the, uh," I sputtered on and circled in my index finger in the air to further enhance my act.

"The propellers?" Cal finally finished for me impatiently.

"Propellers, and I slipped and I would have gone overboard but Mr. Dawson saved me and almost went over himself."

"You wanted to see the… she wanted to see the propellers," he said aloud to the others and began to laugh at the ridiculous of the situation.

"It's like I said, women and machinery do not mix." Colonel Gracie declared superiorly.

"Was that the way of it?" The Master at Arms jerked Jack around and asked him.

I looked pleadingly at him, hoping he would keep my secret. Our eyes met and I knew then without any doubt that he would.

"Yeah," he answered firmly. "Yeah, that was pretty much it."

Colonel Gracie smiled and nodded. "Well, the boy's a hero then. Good for you, son, well done. So, it's all well and back to our brandy."

The Master at Arms released Jack from the cuffs at the same time Cal looked down at me. "Look at you, you must be freezing," he said rubbing my arms. "Let's get you inside."

"Ah, perhaps a little something for the boy," Colonel Gracie suggested charitably. I felt Cal stiffen next to me and I knew what he must have been thinking. He turned back to Colonel Gracie and hesitantly nodded.

"Of course. Ah, Mr. Lovejoy, I think a twenty should do it."

For some odd reason I was completely insulted. Why did these men have to think of every situation in monetary terms? This was my life and to have it whittled down to twenty dollars made me feel uneasy. "Is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?"

Cal stopped for a moment and smiled slightly down at me. "Rose is displeased. What to do?" his smile became wider then. "I know," he nodded and then made his way back to Jack. "Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow evening… to regal our group with your heroic tale." He glanced over at Colonel Gracie with a smirk.

"Sure, count me in," Jack answered unperturbed at Cal's obvious snobbiness.

"Good, it's settled then," Cal proceed back towards me. "This should be interesting," I heard him say to Colonel Gracie, who gave a superior chuckle at the idea of someone like Jack joining our group.

Wrapping his arms around me, he led me back to our suite of rooms. Colonel Gracie left us then and we were alone as we walked down the empty corridors.

"You really should be more careful, Rose." Cal admonished me. I listened as he slightly scolded me about appearances. "No harm done, I suppose. Still, I wonder… what in the world prompted you to want to see the propellers?"

"I don't know," I told him as we entered the sitting room. "I was restless and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm sorry I worried you."

He smiled and kissed my forehead as my mother came out of her room. "What in the world happened?"

"Nothing of consequence, Ruth," Cal answered smoothly. "Everything is fine. You can go back to your room now."

Seeing the hesitation on my mother's face, I wanted to reassure her as well. "It's nothing, Mother. I'm fine. I'm just tired and I'm going to get ready for bed."

My mother stared at me for a moment, but then nodded and excused herself leaving Cal and I alone again. "Go have Trudy undress you. I'll be in momentarily to say goodnight."

I nodded and started to step away, but Cal pulled me to him, pressing his body intimately against mine. "If anything ever happened to you, Rose, I don't know what I would do," he whispered and lowered his head to kiss me, but I turned my face so it landed on my cheek. I quickly covered my action by saying how tired I was. He let me go then and I entered my room, shutting the door on him as he stood watching me. I shuddered for a moment and called for Trudy.


	7. The Heart of the Ocean

**Thank you so much for the reviews. **

**Lilly, Meghann and G.W. I can't express my thanks for such kind words. You have really made my day and I'm just humbled by the reviews you gave me. I'm glad you're enjoying this story, even if it's not completely mine.**

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**Chapter Seven**

_**The Heart of the Ocean**_

It wasn't until I was finally alone in my stateroom that I was able to gather my thoughts of what had happened. I lifted the hem of my white dressing gown and sat down at my dressing table. I lifted the lid on my music box and began brushing my hair.

Immediately my thoughts turned to Jack Dawson. Who was this young man? Where did he come from? What was it about him that intrigued me even now? One thing was for certain… for a moment in time our lives had intertwined and I would never be the same because of it. Had he felt it as well? Was he thinking of me as I was thinking of him?

Perplexed at my own feelings on the matter, I had to wonder what kind of person Jack Dawson was to have done what he did for me tonight. Poor, though he obviously was, there something undoubtedly special about him. Maybe it was his quick smile and clear blue eyes or maybe it was the way his rough hand had felt warm and secure in my own.

I didn't know, but what I did know is when I slipped, he refused to let go. He held me tightly, encouraging me, pulling me up to safety. How did one repay someone for that? And if that weren't enough, he backed up my ridiculous story of the propellers without even a thought. He went along with me, never letting his surprise show.

Jack Dawson was an enigma and I knew I had to see him again. In spite of the barriers that existed between our worlds, I knew I would seek him out. I had to find out more about him. He had pulled me back from a disaster of my own making and if nothing else I had to show him my gratitude for what he had done.

Glancing down at my cracked hand mirror I picked it up and felt remorse at my actions of earlier. Regardless of how I may have felt, what I had tried to do was clearly not the answer.

A tap at my door caught my attention and I sat the mirror down as Cal opened it and leaned against the door frame. He stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"I know you've been melancholy. I don't pretend to know why." He stepped fully into the room then and pulled a blue, velvet box from behind him. "I intended to save this until the engagement gala next week," he walked over to the dressing table and closed the lid on the music box, propping himself on the edge in its place. "But, I thought… tonight," he finished before prying the lid of the box open, displaying the contents inside.

I had never seen anything like it. It was a magnificent blue stone, at least fifty carats in size, attached to a string of diamonds to form one of the most exquisite necklaces I had ever seen.

"Good gracious," I breathed.

He laughed quietly. "Perhaps this is a reminder of my feelings for you."

"Is it a-"

"Diamond?" he finished for me with a broad smile and stood. "Yes, fifty-six carats to be exact," he came behind me then and hooked the necklace around my neck. He stared at my reflection as he spoke. "It was worn by Louis the Sixteenth and they called it 'Le Coeur de la Mer'."

"The Heart of the Ocean," we said in unison.

"Yes," he smiled.

I stared at the enormous diamond sitting so daintily around my neck. I had never been given such an extravagant gift in my entire life. I reached up to touch it, overwhelmed by its size and history and I told him this.

"Well, it's for royalty," Cal responded with assurance. "And, we are royalty, Rose."

I didn't know how to respond to him. I didn't know if I could give him what he wanted from me. He wanted the Rose that he had created in his mind, not the Rose I felt I was inside. He moved to kneel next to me, propping his elbow on the table, still looking at me through the mirror.

"There's nothing I couldn't give you, nothing I'd deny you… if you would not deny me," he then turned and looked at me intently.

I knew what he meant. He had intimated at it for some time now, but I had not been able to bring myself to do what he wanted. I knew once we were married I couldn't stop the inevitable from happening, but we weren't married yet and I was not ready to go to him in that way. He must have sensed my dilemma for his features softened towards me.

"Open your heart to me, Rose," he quietly implored.

There was no way for me to respond to his request. I had not opened my heart to him and I doubted that I ever would. I did not love him and I couldn't force myself to feel what wasn't there. I turned to look at myself in the mirror and in spite of his generous gift and kind words, I felt empty inside.

I gripped the diamond and then ran my fingers along the ridged line of smaller diamonds. What was the price of love? I wondered. Could a monetary value be put on it as Cal tried to do over and over again? Could it be bought and sold?

The answer was clear and defined as far as I was concerned. Love could not be bought, taken or forced. It could not be placed in a diamond necklace wrapped in a velvet box nor could not be taken out and put on display for the entire world to see.

How sad I felt in that moment. Not only sad for myself, but for Cal as well. He would never see beyond his possessions and money and what they could buy him. He would be forever trying to obtain what he could not have, never seeing that what he wanted was not bought, but given freely.

And how sad for me that I could not freely give him what he was trying so hard to obtain.


	8. Hello Again

**Oh my gosh, where do I start? First, thank you, thank you for the reviews. I appreciate them more than I can say.**

**Kate, Lilly, arubanprincess and G.W., you guys are so sweet. I'm so glad that this story is meeting your expectations of Rose and I hope to continue doing it justice.**

**Lilly and Meghann, okay here goes. I'm just going to go with what I feel and that is I think she and Cal didn't do the deed. I think Cal wanted to, but I'm just not sure Rose would have. Whether she did or not remains James Cameron's little secret, lol. SO, with that being said, I'll continue to live in a world where Rose only gave herself to Jack. It's much easier on me if I go with that.**

**Now, this chapter is longer than most of them. It's a little more involved because this is their 'getting to know you' period. I also changed the chapter title because I didn't like the one the DVD had for it. Plus, I added the deleted scene of Rose going down into the 3rd Class to find Jack. Writing the movie, it almost didn't make sense without it, plus I just liked it, lol. **

**Oh and Insect Lover, don't worry, I will be sure to make Fabrizio's scenes most memorable. I know how you love him and I will try to do him justice in my story. I will use the advice you gave me and incoroporate that when I get the steerage party scene.**

**Okay, enough babbling. On with the story...**

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**Chapter Eight**

_**Hello Again**_

The next morning I awoke early and had Trudy help me into a butter yellow day dress that I wore over a white, silk shirtwaist. Leaving the stateroom before anyone knew was gone, I made my way down into the lower part of the ship. I had a purpose and that purpose was to find Jack Dawson, even if that meant going to third class to do it.

I was a bit nervous when I passed through the gate that separated third class from the rest of the ship. I received a few strange stares, but I was not to be deterred from my mission. I walked further and further down until I saw a large opening where people were either going down into or coming up from. As I neared it I heard the sound of piano being played and that's when I realized that it was a gathering place for the third class passengers.

I slowly made my way down the stairs and as I reached the bottom I was well aware of the people stopping to stare at me. I continued on, searching for Jack as I did. He had to be down here, he just had to be. I smiled anxiously walking through the crowd as more and more people turned their eyes on me. That's when I saw him. He was sitting on a bench surrounded by a group of people.

A handsome young Italian man tapped him on the shoulder alerting him to my presence. As soon as he saw me, a look of surprise came across his face and he immediately stood to face me. I walked up to him and smiled.

"Hello, Mr. Dawson."

"Hello, again," he responded, but it was obvious he was aware of the stares we were receiving.

"May I speak with you?"

"Yeah," he motioned for me to sit down on the bench. That was not what I had in mind when I came here to find him. Hoping that we could be alone, I asked him if we could speak in private.

"Yes, of course," he answered quickly and reached for the book he had been holding when I walked up.

We went upon deck and stopped at the nearby rail. I felt awkward now that he was in front of me and wasn't sure how to tell him what I had on my mind. Jack seemed to sense my discomfort right away.

"Look at that sky. We're sure having good weather," he pointed upwards.

Glancing up, I nodded slightly. "Yes, the weather has been lovely."

"I've always loved being in the outdoors. I was never much for staying indoors even as a kid. I would get up at the crack of dawn and be gone all day. I'd tramp in the woods, making trails and such. I even built a fort up in a tree one time."

"Sounds wonderful," I told him. I had never done anything like that in my life. As a child, my life consisted of lessons of all kinds. Riding lessons, French lessons, lessons in etiquette and speech just to name a few. There were a few free moments, but they were not very often. As I listened to Jack, I felt very envious of the life he had led.

He motioned for me to follow him and so I did. We walked along and talked together. He told me of his life in Chippewa Falls; his parents, his friends and all of the mischievous things he did as a boy. I was captivated by his stories and found myself laughing at his antics. Jack had lived quite a life and in spite of being poor, he was happy and content to be so.

We passed through the gate that separated third class from first class and walked down the promenade deck and up to the boat deck. The stares we received were obvious but Jack didn't seem to mind. He smiled and greeted them as if he belonged there with me.

"Do your parents still live in Chippewa Falls?" I asked him.

"No," he shook his head. "My folks died a while back."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's okay, you didn't know," he shrugged. "I've been on my own since I was fifteen, since my folks died. And, I had no brothers or sisters, or close kin in that part of the country so I lit on outta there and I haven't been back since. You can just call me tumbleweed blowing in the wind." He laughed, as did I, at his joke. But, suddenly his tone turned serious. "Well, Rose, we've walked about a mile around this boat deck and chewed over how great the weather's been and how I grew up, but I reckon that's not why you came to talk to me, is it?"

The words I had so carefully formed in my mind now seemed so hollow. Jack was a genuine person, there was nothing superficial or shallow about him at all. He was what he was and wasn't ashamed of it. He lived a real life, not one carefully mapped out for him where he had no choices to make. He made life choices everyday and they were his to make and no one else's.

Still, I had sought him out to thank him for what he had done and so I proceeded. "Mr. Dawson, I-"

"Jack," he interrupted me quickly.

"Jack," I continued. "I want to thank you for what you did. Not just for pulling me back, but for your discretion."

"Your welcome," he nodded and glanced over at me.

Talking to him about his life, about how he had lived it made me realize how I must have appeared to him. I'm sure to him it seemed as if I had everything, but for some strange reason I wanted him to know I was not one the people that milled around us as we walked along. "Look, I know what you must be thinking," I said to him. "Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery?"

Suddenly he stopped and looked at me. "No, no that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could have happened to this girl to make her think she had no way out?"

His words were so sincere and earnest that I felt myself crumble beneath them. I had never met anyone like Jack Dawson. He didn't hide from his feelings… he didn't tuck them away in a velvet box for safe keeping. I stepped forward to the rail and before I knew it, it was rushing out of me.

"Well, it was everything. My whole world and all the people in it. And the inertia of my life, plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it." I lifted my hand then to show him my engagement ring, to perhaps try and explain to him the hopelessness I had been feeling the night before.

"God!" he exclaimed. "Look at that thing. You woulda gone straight to the bottom."

"Five hundred invitations have gone out," I continued. Now that I had started it was like a floodgate had opened. "All of Philadelphia society will be there and all the while I feel as if I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up."

As the words rushed out of me, I couldn't believe that I had said them, but even as I thought that, I felt as if a load had been lifted from me. That is until Jack looked at me, almost as if he could see into my soul.

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly.

"Pardon me?" I was astonished at his forwardness. I realized then that I had given too much away. "You're being very rude. You shouldn't be asking me this," I said to cover the uneasiness his question had stirred in me.

"Well, it's a simple question. Do you love the guy or not?"

Straightforward. That's what Jack was and I was taken aback by it. No one I had ever known spoke so plainly. I wasn't sure how to respond to it, so I slipped into the person I was most comfortable with, the one I had been trained all of my life to be.

"This is not a suitable conversation," I told him in a dismissive tone, but Jack was not going to be dismissed so easily.

"Why can't you just answer the question?" he bluntly asked me.

I didn't know how to respond to his bold honesty. I couldn't possibly tell him my true feelings toward Cal. As comfortable as I may have felt with him up until this point, that was something I was not prepared to disclose to him or anyone else. So, I laughed and stepped away from him to remove myself from his penetrating stare.

"This is absurd," I said in my best haughty voice. "You don't know me and I don't know you and we are not having this conversation at all. You are rude and uncouth and presumptuous and I'm leaving now. Jack, Mr. Dawson," I put my hand out to shake his. "It's been a pleasure. I sought you out to thank you and now I have thanked you-"

"And you've insulted me," he grinned at me, not the least be affected at my attempts to put distance between us.

"Well, you deserved it," I said as we stood there ridiculously still shaking hands.

"Right," he nodded.

"Right," I agreed. I had never had a conversation like this with anyone. He grin grew wider as we continued to stand there facing each other.

"I thought you were leaving?"

"I am," I declared and dropped his hand. I started to turn away but I was immediately drawn back to him. I don't know if it was his smile or his honesty or what it was, but I didn't want to leave him. I just didn't know how to do it without being obvious about it. "You're so annoying," I threw out, which earned me a chuckle from him. "Wait," I came back toward him. "I don't have to leave, this is my part of the ship. You leave." I pointed toward the gate.

He really laughed then and lifted his hand to grab a thick rope that was overhead. "Well, well, well, now who's being rude?"

How effortlessly Jack put me at ease. He was teasing me now and I liked it. Looking for anything to keep it going, and yet not wanting to seem eager about it, I grabbed the leather book he was holding.

"What is this stupid thing you're carrying around?" I opened it and saw that it was drawings. "So, what are you, an artist or something?"

As I looked through his charcoal drawings I knew immediately that Jack was very talented. I was amazed at his artistry and his ability to capture the essence of his subject. I walked over to a deck chair and sat down. "These are rather good," I said as I looked them over. "They're very good actually."

I lifted one of a mother nursing her child. It was so simple and yet so powerful in its simplicity. I looked over at him, amazed that he could capture something so beautiful and natural within this drawing. I turned the page to see one of a child being held in the strong hands of her father.

"Jack, this is exquisite work," I told him as he sat down next to me.

"Ah, they didn't think too much them in old Paree'," he answered with a hint of disappointment.

"Paris?" I turned to him. He nodded in response.

"You do get around for a poor-" I stopped suddenly, aware of how rude that sounded. "Well, a person of limited means."

"Go on, I'm a poor guy," he laughed at my awkwardness. "You can say it."

I smiled, feeling even more at ease with him. When I next turned the next page, the drawing I saw was not like the others had been. This was a nude drawing of a woman lying prone on her side. "Well, well, well," I acknowledged it. Turning the page, there was yet another set of nudes, one of the girl sitting and one of her standing. "These were drawn from life?" I asked, curious now.

Before he could answer me, a man walked closely past us. I pulled the book cover down and waited for him to pass. Jack didn't seem to mind at all.

"Well, that's one good thing about Paris. Lots of girls willing to take their clothes off."

I was a bit shocked at his comment at first, but seeing his face I then found it amusing. He was teasing me again, not taking himself seriously at all. I turned back to the drawings and there was yet again another nude of the girl. "You liked this woman," I noted. "You've used her several times."

"Well," he pulled a drawing out and showed it to me. "She had beautiful hands… see."

She did have beautiful hands, made even more so by Jack's ability to capture them. There was so much emotion in his strokes that she had to have been more to him than a subject to be drawn. "You must have had a love affair with her."

"No, no, no, just with her hands," he quickly amended my thought process. "She was a one legged prostitute… see." He held up yet another drawing and he was right. She had only one leg, the other removed from the thigh down. I nearly gasped at this revelation. Jack laughed at my response and shook his head.

"Ah, she had a good sense of humor though." He lifted another sheet for me. "Oh, and this lady."

I looked down at the drawing of an older woman sitting at a bar. The look on her face said so much; longing, sadness, emptiness. Jack had captured them all so effectively you could almost feel her pain.

"She used to sit at this bar every night wearing every piece of jewelry she owned just waiting for her long lost love. They called her Madame Bijou. See how her clothes are all moth eaten?"

There was no denying his talent. Jack was artist in every sense of the word. "Well, you have a gift, Jack. You do." I told him. "You see people."

"I see you," he said intently as he stared at me.

I smiled and lifted my head. "And?" I asked coyly.

"You wouldn't of jumped," he answered in such a matter of fact tone that it took me off guard. It was as if he had reached into my soul and saw the real me, the one I kept so safely hidden away from the world. It was disconcerting to be so exposed, but I didn't feel threatened by it. If anything it made me sad because I knew the person that Jack saw in me, was the person I would never be free to be.


	9. Learning New Things

**Hey! I'm back, lol. I just want to thank everyone for the reviews. I'm so glad to know that I'm not completely messing it up, lol. I love this movie and wanted to do this for a long time now. I am trying to be accurate in expressing Rose's thoughts which is easier at times than others, mainlybecause of Kate Winslet's magnificent acting. She conveys Rose's reactions so convincingly it's not hard to know what Rose is thinking, it's just taking that and putting it down in words. **

**And, as delicately and nicely as I can put this... Lily's Lil Sis, the reason I am staying so close to the movie is because I'm writing the movie verbatim. I'm just putting Rose's thoughts behind it and filling in the little nooks and crannies of the unknown with what I think the unknown is. So, I hope that helps you.**

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**Chapter Nine**

_**Learning New Things**_

Jack and I spent the remainder of the afternoon together. I was never more relaxed than I was with him on the boat deck talking and getting to know the person who had rescued me. He was fascinating in so many ways and had experienced far more than I ever had in spite of the wealth that surrounded me. I lost track of time that afternoon, so involved were we in our conversation.

He told me of his life after leaving Chippewa Falls, of how he had hopped trains and rode the boxcars to get to where he was going most of the time. He was a free spirit, traveling where the road took him. I couldn't imagine such a life. To me, it sounded like a wonderful and uninhibited way to live.

"I guess I liked California better than any place I've been," Jack said as we stopped to lean against the railing. "I was up there in wine country for a while. It's really beautiful, just rows and rows of vineyards as far as the eye can see. That's the good thing about California, you can have it all. You go north and you get the mountains, you go south and you get the sun and the beaches. It's a win, win situation."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that," I told him.

"Yeah, but it can get pretty cold in the winter, so when it came around I headed south where it's warmer."

"What did you when you left there?"

"Once I got around San Francisco I tried my hand as a carpenter, but me and the end of a hammer didn't go together so I moved on further south. After that, I worked on a squid boat in Monterrey and then I went to Los Angeles to the pier in Santa Monica and started doing portraits there for ten cents a piece."

"Why can't I be like you, Jack?" I mused. "Just head out for the horizon whenever I feel like it?" I glanced over at him and saw him looking at me wonderingly. For just a moment I wanted to know what it felt like to be in his shoes, if only for a moment. "Say we'll go there sometime to that pier, even if we only ever talk about it," I said.

"No, we'll do it," he grinned at me. "We'll drink cheap beer. We'll ride on the roller coaster until we throw up."

I laughed at that. I had never even imagined doing something so carefree and spontaneous. But, Jack wasn't finished with his imaginary itinerary he was planning.

"Then we'll ride horses on the beach, right in the surf. Now, you'll have to do it like a real cowboy, none of that sidesaddle stuff."

"You mean one leg on each side?" I asked, startled by the image that brought up.

"Yeah," he answered firmly.

I had never sat a horse any other way but sidesaddle. It was considered vulgar for a woman to spread her legs in such a manner, even to ride a horse. But, since we were pretending, I decided to go along with him. "Can you show me?"

"Sure, if you'd like," he nodded.

I was caught up in the feel of our imaginings and so I stepped outside of myself for a little while and dropped the society girl act. "Teach me to ride like a man," I quipped.

"And chew tobacco like a man," Jack added.

"And spit like a man," I did in my best southern belle voice.

"What? They didn't teach you that in finishing school?"

"No," I laughed through my answer. Miss Finnegan, the principal of my finishing school, would be completely appalled at even the mention of such a thing.

"Well, come on, I'll show you. Let's do it." Jack moved from the railing and walked behind me.

"What?" I asked in shock. Certainly he wasn't suggesting that I actually stand here and _spit_.

"I'll show you how, come on." He took me by the hand, but I pulled back.

"Jack, no!" I nearly hissed as he continued to pull me forward. "Jack, no!" I tried to free myself from his grasp, but he wouldn't let go. He practically dragged me to the railing that overlooked the churning ocean below. "Wait, Jack!" I ordered, but he ignored me. "No, Jack, I couldn't possibly," I told him as I looked behind me to see if anyone was watching us.

"Watch closely," he said holding up his hand and then suddenly the most offensive sound I have ever heard came from him as he sucked air through his nose and sent a shower of spittle over the side.

"That's disgusting!" I cried as he laughed at my reaction.

"Now, your turn," he said to me. I couldn't possibly do this, I thought to myself, but neither could I let Jack know that I wouldn't do it. I had spent the afternoon trying to convince him I was not the prim and proper girl I projected so I gave a quick look around and let out a tiny bit of spit.

"That was pitiful," Jack declared. "Come on, you really gotta hock it back, you know, get some leverage to it, use your arms, arc your neck," he said as he instructed me in the art of spitting and let out another one. "Did you see the range on that thing?" he pointed.

I followed his lead, clearing my throat in the most unladylike of ways and tried to build it up to really show him. "Mmm, hmmm," I muttered as I prepared to send my spittle sailing over the side.

"Okay, go," Jack watched closely as I arced by head back and sent it flying. "Aw, that was better, but you really gotta work on it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you really gotta get some body to it. You gotta-"

From the corner of my eye I saw my mother walk up with the Countess of Rothes and Margaret Brown. I don't which was worse, the look on her face or the look on mine. I was stunned into silence for a moment, wondering how in the world I was going to explain this to her. Jack quickly turned to see what I was looking at and that's when I heard him swallow the spittle in his mouth as the shock of what was happening became clear.

"Mother!" I managed to squeak out as I stepped forward to stand close to her. "May I introduce Jack Dawson," I tried to grasp onto propriety as the awkwardness of the situation grew. My mother would never understand this and from the look on her face, it was evident I would be hearing about it from her. She turned her cool eyes onto him and looked at him as if he had crawled out from beneath a rock.

"Charmed, I'm sure," she cooed icily and then turned to me again, catching me with a disappointed glare.

I maintained my composure and explained who he was to Mrs. Brown and the Countess, doing my best to keep my eyes away from my mother's. "Mr. Dawson was there to assist me last night when I had my accident. He was very helpful and kind in giving me aid. I am very appreciative and have a lot to thank him for. I'm sure the situation would have been dire if not for his quick thinking."

"Well, Jack, sounds like you're a good man to have around in a sticky spot," Mrs. Brown smiled approvingly. I was grateful for her generosity towards Jack considering how my mother was looking at him. I have no doubt that if Jack were an insect my mother wouldn't have hesitated to step on him and dispose of him as quickly as possible. At that moment, the trumpet announcing dinner blared around us.

"Why do they always insist on announcing dinner like a damn cavalry charge?" Mrs. Brown stated coarsely.

I laughed to try and mask the tension my mother was creating with her attitude. "Shall we go dress, Mother?" I smiled brightly and took her by the arm. "See you at dinner, Jack." I nodded as I propelled my mother down the deck. Thank goodness the Countess was still with us, otherwise I'm sure she would have lectured me sternly for my actions.

When we returned to our rooms, I quickly headed for my suite. "I have to dress now, Mother. I don't want to keep Cal waiting."

"Rose," she stopped me with her commanding voice. I turned to her, pausing at my door. "I don't want to see that behavior from you again, is that understood? I will not be humiliated by my daughter and her obvious lack of good sense. What I witnessed from you will never be repeated."

"Yes, Mother," I responded quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Just see to it that we don't have this conversation again. Mr. Hockley need not be made aware of your actions. I'm sure he would not appreciate his fiancée consorting in such a way with that kind of rabble."

"I said I was sorry. May I dress now?" I questioned her tautly.

"Yes," she nodded dismissively and headed for her own suite of rooms. As I entered my room, I threw my reticule aside and sat on the bed. I drew a breath and wondered about Jack again, knowing I was going to see him at dinner. The thought pleased me tremendously. I enjoyed myself with him that afternoon as no other day I had in my life. He was so honest and real and I very much wanted to see him again.

Trudy tapped on my door and entered the room in a flutter. "I don't know what happened, but your mother is coiled tighter than a spool of thread. She sent me over to get you dressed."

I stood and let her begin the routine of undressing me, smiling as my thoughts drifted to Jack and our spitting lesson. Stifling a giggle, I stepped out of my dress. Yes, I thought to myself, I was very much looking forward to seeing Jack Dawson again, very forward indeed.


	10. Dinner with Jack

**I finally found time to update in between writing chapters of Olivia. Thank you for the reviews for Ch 9 everyone. I appreciate each and every one. I hope you like this chapter as well. It was somewhat difficult to write as there was so much activity going on. But, hopefully I did it justice.**

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**Chapter Ten**

_**Dinner with Jack**_

Cal and my mother were just ahead of me as we left our suite for dinner. I had chosen one of my favorite gowns, an intricately beaded paneled gown of sheer black organdy over satiny coral. Its design was one I favored more than any gown I owned. I wanted to look my best when I saw Jack tonight.

As usual, Cal was being his ever superior self as he and Mother turned toward the banister that led to the Grand Staircase and down to the First Class Lounge. I heard him boasting rather smugly as they walked along. "Did you know there are several thousands tons of Hockley Steel in this very ship?"

"Which part?" I heard Mother ask.

"Only the best ones of course," he laughed smugly.

That's as much as I could hear before they descended down the stairs. It was more than enough, I thought with distaste. I was so weary of hearing his constant boasting.

It was as I was coming down the stairs behind them that I first noticed Jack. Much to my surprise, he was dressed as well as any fine gentleman in a fitted tuxedo. His hand was outstretched behind Cal who clearly did not notice that it was him. I had to wonder where he acquired it since I knew his situation didn't allow for something as lavish as a tuxedo.

He turned then and saw me. I smiled as I came further down the stairs, pleased by the look of admiration on his face. He slowly came over to the foot of the staircase and stopped just as I reached the next to last step. We stood there for a moment looking at each other and before I realized what he was going to do, he lifted my gloved hand and brought to his lips in a smooth kiss.

Immediately he broke out in a boyish grin as he looked up at me. "I saw that in a Nickelodeon once and I always wanted to do it."

I couldn't help but laugh at his comment. He stepped back and offered his arm to me which I graciously accepted. As I descended the last of the steps, Jack threw his head back imitating the gentlemen around us and the way they carried themselves with their pompous noses in the air. It was most humorous to watch. We made our way toward Cal and Mother who were chatting with the Countess.

"Darling," I called for Cal and touched his sleeve. He turned to us and smiled. "Surely you remember Mr. Dawson," I said gesturing to him.

Cal's eyebrow's shot up as he looked over at Jack. "Dawson," he remarked in a surprised voice. "Why, it's amazing. You could almost pass for a gentleman."

"Almost," Jack answered unwaveringly, holding his head high against Cal's scrutinizing assessment.

"Extraordinary," Cal said as he took my mother's arm and led her toward the staircase.

I looked over at Jack and smiled reassuringly. He was going to be just fine, I surmised. He looked the part and I'm sure he could act the part. No one would ever know he was not one of us. We followed Cal and my mother down the staircase until we reached the dining room whereupon they came upon the Duff Gordon's. As they stopped to chat with them, I held Jack back to give him a quick guide of all who were present.

"There's the Countess of Rothes," I motioned toward the Countess. I then looked back over my shoulder and saw J.J. and Madeline Astor descending the stair case.

"That's John Jacob Astor," I told him. "The richest man on the ship. His little wifey there Madeline is my age and in a delicate condition. See how's she's trying to hide it. Quite the scandal," I informed him with a small laugh. "And that's Benjamin Guggenheim and his mistress, Madame Aubart," I said of the older couple who were close by talking. "Mrs. Guggenheim is home with the children of course and over here we have Sir Cosmo and Lucille Lady Duff Gordon," the small group turned toward Jack and I and Lady Duff Gordon acknowledged us with a small wave. I waved back as I continued on with my summary. "She designs naughty lingerie among her many talents, very popular with the royals."

As I was finishing, Margaret Brown joined us then. "Care to escort a lady to dinner?" she held out her arm toward Jack.

"Certainly," Jack answered as she linked her arm through his.

Cal and Mother soon broke away and were heading toward our table. Cal turned back to us and called for me in that hideous nickname I despised. "Sweetpea, sweetpea," he said as we followed them.

"Ain't nothing to it is there, Jack? Remember, they love money so just pretend you own a gold mine and you're in the club," Mrs. Brown chimed in.

I was aware of how we must have looked to Jack then as we made our way down the aisle. I had always taken this kind of atmosphere for granted, it was just the way it was in my life, but to Jack I imagined he saw far more than those of us who actually lived this way. Before I could think further, Mrs. Brown took matters in her own hands as I suspected she always did.

"Hey Astor!" she yelled as we came up to him and Madeline.

"Well, hello Molly," he smiled graciously as we approached. "Nice to see you."

I took the opportunity to put Jack at ease with them and introduced him to them. "J.J., Madeline, I'd like to you to meet Jack Dawson."

"How do you do?" Madeline daintily shook his hand.

"Pleasure," Jack replied smoothly. He was nervous, but he hid it well.

"Hello Jack," J.J. nodded. "Are you of the Boston Dawson's?" he asked Jack, assuming he was one of us.

"No, the Chippewa Falls Dawson's actually," Jack answered truthfully.

"Yes," J.J. answered rather perplexed. I could tell he didn't know what to make of Jack but I smiled at him, pleased at his honesty. I was proud of him for still being himself among these people and stepped closely to him, wrapping my hand around his arm. He looked down at me as I did this.

"Shall we?" he asked, his eyes bright with happiness.

"Yes," I nodded and we walked over to the dining table we would be sharing with our group. As we approached the Countess turned to us and Jack immediately took her hand and kissed it, so much like a gentleman would. I could tell she was impressed by this. We took our seats, me beside Cal and Jack beside Mrs. Brown. As the introductions were being made, my mother made absolutely sure that no one would mistake Jack for who and what he was.

"Tell us of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear they're quite good on this ship," she said imperiously.

Jack smiled at mother and answered without any reservation. "The best I've seen, ma'am. Hardly any rats."

Laughter tittered around the table at Jack's quick reply, something my mother didn't take kindly to I could tell. She wanted to embarrass Jack, to make him look inferior to those around the table.

"Mr. Dawson is joining us from third class," Cal clarified for everyone, as if they hadn't gathered that from my mother's remark. "He was of some assistance to my fiancée last night."

Wanting to repair some of the damage my mother had tried to inflict on Jack's presence, I leaned forward and told them of Jack's talent. "It seems Mr. Dawson is a fine artist and was kind enough to show me some of his work today."

Cal, who could always be counted upon to give his opinion in any situation, did just that. "Rose and I differ somewhat on our definition of fine art…" he looked up at Jack as he spoke. "Not to impugn your work, sir."

Jack shook his head to let him know he was not offended by Cal's comment. It was at that time that the first course of caviar was being brought around. I lifted my napkin to show Jack this was what he supposed to do as well. The conversation turned to the _Titanic_ as we prepared to dine.

"She might belong to me on paper, but in the eyes of God, she belongs to Thomas Andrews," Mr. Ismay boasted. "He knows every rivet in her… don't you, Thomas?"

I turned to Mr. Andrews and smiled at him. I had always found him to be a very nice man, quiet and so unassuming. "You're ship is a wonder, Mr. Andrews… truly."

"Thank you, Rose," he smiled kindly at me.

The waiter came around to Jack at that time. "How do you take your caviar, sir?"

"No caviar for me thanks. Never did care for it much," Jack told him. I smiled, again taken aback at his ability to be so genuine. It was so refreshing compared to what I was used to.

"And, where exactly to you live Mr. Dawson?" Mother asked him. I tensed for a moment, well aware of how my mother could turn any situation around. Her earlier attempts to embarrass Jack were on my mind as he answered her.

"Well, right now my address is the _RMS Titanic_. After that, I'm on God's good humor."

"And how is it you have means to travel?" she asked, feigning her interest, I was sure.

"I work my way from place to place, you know, tramp steamers and such. But, I won my ticket on _Titanic_ here at a lucky hand at poker. A very lucky hand." Jack finished by looking over at me with a smile.

"All life is a game of luck," Colonel Gracie declared. But Cal had other ideas about that. As usual, he spoke up giving his opinion.

"Hmm, a real man makes his own luck, Archie. Right, Dawson," Cal glanced over at him.

"Hmm," was Jack's only response. It was then that my mother made her move and went in for the kill. "And you find that kind of rootless existence appealing, do you?" she drawled coolly on the acerbic words.

Jack looked at her momentarily before answering her. The words he used bore into my soul and summed up everything that was Jack and brought into perspective what the others around this table had long forgotten. "Well, yes ma'am I do. I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got the air in my lungs and a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning and not knowing what's going to happen… or who I'm gonna meet… or where I'm gonna wind up," he said as he looked over at me once again. I was caught up in what he was saying, seeing clearly what he was expressing.

He lifted his glass and took a sip as he talked. "Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people," he finished and turned to the waiter. "I'll have some more of that," he held his glass toward him. "I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You never know what kind of hand you're gonna get dealt. You learn to take life as it comes at ya."

Jack then did something that I'm sure Cal thought of as uncouth and ill-mannered. He threw a pack of matches toward him when he saw Cal searching for his own unsuccessfully. "To make each day count," Jack continued, ignoring Cal's dark eyes boring into him with reproach.

"Well said, Jack," Mrs. Brown said next to him.

"Here, here," Colonel Gracie once again declared loudly.

I wanted to show Jack how much his being here this evening meant to me and so I lifted my own glass in a toast as well. "To making it count," I said toward him and smiled warmly. To my surprise and to Jack's as well, the entire table, with the exception of Mother and Cal, lifted their glass and toasted along with me.

"To making it count," they said at once. Jack nodded graciously at them and lifted his glass to join the toast. I could hardly contain my excitement at this, for I knew that Jack had passed the test. Why this was important I wasn't sure, but I was proud of him nonetheless.

The rest of the evening passed smoothly. Jack made the evening special and in spite of the same group of people and the same mindless chatter, it was bearable somehow with him there close to me. He and I couldn't keep our eyes off of each other and somehow we were able to connect on a level that Cal and I never had. As the dinner came to an end, I felt my disappointment rising. I didn't want it to be over, I didn't want Jack to leave. But, it was inevitable and just as I predicted, Colonel Gracie rose from his seat.

"Well, join me for a brandy, gentlemen?" he asked around the table. Why he asked this was beyond me, for it was this way every night. The men always went to the smoking room for brandy and cigars while the women retired to their suites to ready for the night. It had been like this for as long as I could remember.

I smiled sardonically over to Jack and whispered. "Now they'll retreat into a cloud of smoke and congratulate each other on being masters of the universe."

Jack grinned at my comment as Mr. Ismay stood and addressed us. "Ladies, thank you for the pleasure of your company."

Cal came up behind me at that time and bent over my shoulder and asked if he could escort me back to our cabin. I declined and told him I would stay in the dining room. I hoped he wouldn't make a scene and didn't suspect the real reason I wanted to stay behind.

Jack stood at that time and Colonel Gracie came up to him as he did. "Joining us, Dawson? You don't want to stay out here with the women do you?"

"No thanks, I've got to be heading back," he answered.

Cal left my side then and walked over to Jack, stopping only for a moment as he did. "It's probably best, it'll be all business and politics and that sort of thing," he told him as if Jack couldn't possibly comprehend what it was all about. "I'm sure it wouldn't interest you," he dismissed him and continued walking. Then, in an unexpected move, Cal turned back to him and called his name, tossing the matches back at him. "Good of you to come," he nodded and then he turned back and continued along with the other men.

Jack turned to me and then came over to where I still sat. I looked up at him, not sure how to express what I was feeling. I could only manage to ask him if he really had to go. I didn't want him to leave yet, but I knew he had to.

"It's time for me to go row with the other slaves," he quipped and offered his hand to me. "Goodnight, Rose."

I placed my hand in his and immediately I felt something foreign there. He kissed it gently and then stepped back. As he did, I saw what appeared to be a slip of paper. I looked up at him and he smiled at me, but kept walking. Glancing around to see if anyone saw the exchange I lowered it into my lap and opened it, reading the words Jack had wrote.

_Make it count. Meet me at the clock!_

I was shocked and yet I was thrilled that Jack hadn't wanted our night to end either. He wanted me to meet him, but could I? I was torn in my decision, but in the end, I knew that I would. I was drawn to Jack Dawson as surely as the moth is drawn to the flame. It may be wrong, but I didn't care. I stood and told Mother that I was retiring to my room and made my way across the dining room. It was risky I knew, but for once I was following my heart and tonight it was clear in it's purpose and it was leading me straight to Jack.


	11. A Real Party

**I figured I was on a roll so why not update all of my stories, lol. Seriously, this chapter has been long in coming. Hopefully I can keep up the momentum. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Eleven**

_**A Real Party**_

I approached the First Class Lounge with feelings of fear and excitement running through me. I placed my hand on my fluttering stomach to hold the butterflies at bay. I released a deep breath when I saw Jack standing with his back to me at the top of the staircase. Slowly, I started up them and that's when he turned to me, giving me a expressive smile.

"So, you wanna go to a real party?"

I smiled in return and took his hand. I knew I had made the right choice in choosing to go with him, however I wasn't exactly sure what Jack meant until he led me out onto the Boat Deck and back to the Third Class Entrance.

"Jack, where are you taking me?" I asked as we walked along.

"I wanna show you how the working class folk have fun. They know how to have a good time even though they don't have much money. They're good people."

"I'm sure they are," I said in response. We made our way down the staircase where I immediately heard lively music drifting up to us. Jack took my hand again as we entered the Common Room. People were everywhere, laughing, talking and dancing. The atmosphere was remarkable in contrast to First Class where I couldn't imagine anyone there enjoying themselves in this way.

"Jack!" We turned to see the handsome young Italian man from the previous day rushing toward us. A lovely blond woman was by his side.

"Fabrizio," Jack threw his hand up as they neared.

When the young man saw me he smiled brightly and bowed graciously. "Buona sera, Signorina Rose."

"Hello," I smiled at him.

He then looked at Jack and laughed. "Jack, you looka so funny! I never see you dress lika that."

"You probably won't again after tonight," he grinned, glancing down at the tuxedo. "Mrs. Brown let me borrow it," he explained to me.

"Ah," I nodded. "I do admit I wondered about it," I told him.

"Signorina Rose, please come, join us," Fabrizio motioned to her.

"Fabri, we're gonna sit down first. I wanna get out of this thing before I choke," he said pulling at the tie around his neck.

Fabrizio laughed again and offered the young woman his arm. "We gonna dance. We canna understand each other, but still, itza good."

As the couple moved away, Jack took my hand and led me to a nearby table where he began to remove the jacket and tie. It was then that I noticed a little girl move toward us. She was adorable with long, curly brown hair and a quick, dimpled grin.

"Hello," I said to her. She didn't answer but turned her eyes to Jack.

"Hello, Cora," Jack winked. "You know, I was just sitting here wondering who I could dance with. How 'bout it? You wanna dance with me?"

She nodded brightly and held out her hand to him. Jack turned to me and leaned forward. "Do you mind?"

"No, no," I answered him. "I'll sit here and wait for you."

Jack took Cora's hand and they stepped out onto the dance floor and began moving to the lively music that was playing. I had only been sitting there a few minutes when two young men, one with twinkling blue eyes and a brown, bowler hat and one with blondish hair sat down next to me.

"Tommy Ryan," he held out his hand. "I'm a friend of Jack's. This is Bjorn."

I gave his hand a quick shake. "I'm Rose DeWitt Bukater. Nice to meet you."

"You hungry, thirsty?" he asked in a thick Irish accent. "I know I could use a swig o' ale meself?"

"Yes, that would be lovely," I answered and I was telling the truth. My throat felt parched and a drink sounded wonderful.

"I'll be back," he announced and left me alone with Bjorn, who spoke not a word of English. He kept saying things to me of which I had no understanding. Finally, I turned back to Jack and Cora, clapping my hands in time with the music as they danced nearby. Bjorn was still trying to speak to me and I leaned forward once more and told him I couldn't understand him.

Tommy returned at the time with the drinks, a dark black substance I assumed was beer. I lifted it and drank it, taking the bitter taste of it in my mouth. I had only sat it down when a loud commotion to my left caught my attention. A man who was obviously drunk had fallen into a table but was quickly lifted by a few men standing around. Not to be deterred he reached for another glass of beer with a brawny smile. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

Finally the song ended but just as quickly another started. Jack and Cora came over to the table and Jack bent low to her. "I'm going to dance with her now, okay?"

Cora nodded and stepped back. "Come on," he held out his hand.

"What?" I nearly croaked. Did he really expect me to dance with him?

"Come with me," he reached for my hand.

"Jack, wait… wait," I shook my head as he brought me in front of him. "I can't do this."

"We're gonna have to get a little bit closer… like this," he said as his hand wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer. For a moment, my breath left my body. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of him so close to me. Suddenly I heard Jack say, "You're still my best girl, Cora." I turned in time to see the little girl give a bright grin and then Jack began to move me around the floor.

"I don't know the steps," I told him shakily.

"I don't either, just go with it," he replied lightly. "Don't think," and then he swept me away in a whirl.

At first I was petrified, afraid I was going to make a fool of myself but Jack was having none of that. Before long I was moving erratically with him and it felt wonderful! I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I had never felt so carefree and unrestricted before. The music swept around us and others who were around began to join us including Fabrizio and Helga. The music played faster and faster and Jack moved me accordingly.

"Jack, wait, Jack!" I exclaimed as he whirled me back and forth over the dance floor. Suddenly he lifted me up to a higher platform and landed in the center of it. His feet began to do a series of moves that I was sure I could follow. In a very unladylike move, I discarded my shoes and handed them to a lady standing nearby. I lifted my skirts and mimicked Jack's movements much to his surprise. Rising to the challenge he stepped back and did another, more intricate series of moves and just as quickly I followed suit.

Jack then took my arm and began to dance around in circles. Round and round we went, faster and faster until everything was a blur. "Jack, no!" I laughed and threw my head back. It was an exhilarating and thrilling feeling, one I wouldn't soon forget. Finally, it came to a stop and we fell into each other laughing.

"Whew! I'm whipped," Jack breathed. "And thirsty. You wanna drink?"

"Yes," I answered with a laugh as well. Jack took my hand and led me off the dance floor. We headed for the table where Tommy and Bjorn were engaged in an arm wrestling contest. He lifted two glasses and handed me one. Used to the bitter tasting drink now, I drank heartily letting it flow down the back of my throat. When I had finished, I glanced over at Jack who was looking at me with a mixture of awe and surprise.

"What?" I responded saucily as the alcohol worked its magic on me. "You think a First Class girl can't drink?"

Before he could respond a man rushed by and knocked into him, spilling the contents of his drink all over me. I jumped back in surprise as Jack grabbed the man and pushed him back. "Get outta here," he said and turned back to me. "You alright?"

I laughed and nodded. "I'm fine."

Tommy's irritated voice carried over the throng of people, "Two outta tree, two outta tree," he shouted and held his hand up again, obviously not happy he had lost. Feeling more and more a part of the atmosphere I was in, a boldness washed over me that was enough to propel me right into the middle of them.

"So," I quipped as I sat my drink down and lifted the cigarette right out of a shocked and dismayed Tommy's mouth. "You think you're big, tough men?" I then took a long practiced drag on it. "Let's see you do this," I said as I stepped back. "Hold this for me, Jack. Hold it up," I lifted the train of my dress to him and switched the cigarette to my other hand.

What I was about to do I hadn't done in years. I didn't know what had come over me to behave so outrageously but I was having more fun and enjoying myself more than I had in years. I assumed the first position of my ballet stance knowing full well all eyes were on me. I slowly began to rise, concentrating on my efforts on attaining _en pointe_, which I did much to my amazement. Standing straight up on my toes without ballet shoes was painful but it was also exciting. I only held the position for a moment when I suddenly fell over onto Jack, who caught me. I laughed breathlessly as he held me. "I haven't done that in years."

He shook his head at as if he didn't know what to make of my sudden behavior. I wondered if I had been too bold but he smiled at me and I knew everything was alright. At that time Fabrizio passed by us and grabbed my hand pulling me into a chain of dancers. I didn't have much time to think about it so as I had done from nearly the time I came down here I just went with the flow of moment. I grabbed Jack's hand and we began to move around the room in fluid motion, dancing and laughing. I couldn't remember when I had let go this way. I didn't want it to ever end…


	12. Wife in Practice

**Thanks for the fantastic reviews! I am having so much fun with this so I hope you are having fun reading it. It's short, but with scenes as they are, it's hard to keep them even. Anyway, happy reading!**

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**Chapter Twelve**

_**Wife in Practice**_

Early the next morning I awoke. It was Sunday and they were having services in the main dining salon for those who wanted to attend. Of course we would attend. Mother and Cal had to keep up appearances. I, on the other hand, wanted to stay in bed and relive the night before in my mind.

Being with Jack and being down in Third Class had opened a door to me that had never been opened before. I saw the way real people lived, the way that they laughed and interacted with each other. They had nothing to prove, no one to impress and they were none the worse for it as I had been taught to believe.

Trudy tapped on the door and entered, her smiling face greeting me as she did. "Good morning, Miss Rose."

"Good morning, Trudy," I answered with a sigh.

"Mr. Hockley is waiting for you. He's had breakfast sent up this morning."

_Wonderful,_ I thought and nearly cringed, still I didn't make a move to leave the bed. She busied herself with the necessary preparations for my day and once in a while glanced over at me.

"Miss Rose, Mr. Hockley…" she said as she watched the door. "Perhaps you should join him."

Sighing again, I threw back the covers and slid from the bed. "Very well, Trudy. Please get my dressing gown."

"Yes ma'am," she curtsied and lifted it for me. After putting it on, I made my way to the private promenade deck where a table had been set up for breakfast. Cal was already there as was a young steward who was serving him. He turned when he saw me enter.

"There you are," he drawled and stood from his seat, reaching out his hand for me. He kissed me on the cheek and then pulled back the opposite chair for me to sit.

The atmosphere was tense although I had no reason to believe Cal suspected what I had done the night before. Perhaps it was just me, I mused. Trudy filled my tea cup and sat it down in front of me. I lifted my spoon and absentmindedly stirred the sugar I had just put in.

"Coffee, sir," Trudy asked him, but he waved her off. Done with their duties, Trudy and the steward left us alone.

I knew I should have said something but I could not find the words. I lifted the cup to my lips to take a sip when he finally did.

"I had hoped you would come to me last night," he said looking at me.

I felt my heart skip a beat. I lowered the cup. "I was tired," I answered him.

"Hmm, you're exertions below decks were no doubt exhausting," he quipped and I knew then, that he knew and I knew why he knew. Lovejoy.

"I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me, how typical," I replied testily. But Cal was not finished.

"You will never behave like that again, Rose. Do you understand?"

I sat for a moment contemplating his words. Did I understand? Oh yes, I'm afraid I did, all too well. Cal wanted to control me, to hold me down until I had no free thought of my own. He wanted to own me.

"I'm not a foreman in one of your mills that you can command," I spouted. "I'm your fiancée."

Cal's face changed from that of control to anger in swift concession. "My fiancée, my fiancée!" he shouted and stood at the same time. "Yes, you are and my wife!" He suddenly grabbed the table and flung it to the side sending the contents of our breakfast flying across the deck floor. He lunged for me, gripping the handles of my chair, stopping mere inches from my face. My heart slammed into my throat at his outburst.

"My wife in practice if not yet by law and you will honor me," he nearly snarled. "You will honor me the way a wife is required to honor her husband because I will not be made out a fool, Rose. Is this in anyway unclear?"

I had never been afraid of Cal until that moment and I now I was terrified of him. His dark eyes bore into me like hot coals as he glared down at me. Finding my voice, I heard myself answer him, "No."

"Good," he nodded curtly and stood. "Excuse me." And then he turned and left without so much as a look back.

I sat in shock silence for a moment as he stalked across the deck and into the sitting room. Trudy, who had appeared at the commotion, came running toward me as Cal disappeared.

"Miss Rose," she called frantically.

I didn't know what to think or how to act. Cal's reaction had frightened me more than anything I had ever experienced before. I tried to hold myself together but the feelings of fear overwhelmed me and I began to break down. "We had a little accident," I managed to say between gasps of air.

"It's alright, Miss Rose, it's alright," Trudy immediately knelt on the floor and began gathering the shards of glass and scattered food.

"I'm sorry, Trudy," I cried hoarsely as I began to kneel down. "Let me help you."

"It's alright, Miss," she repeated firmly and took my hand. I looked over at her and what little composure I had managed to keep in tact, I lost. Tears of humiliation ran freely down my cheeks then and I slid further down on the ground, pushing against the nearby chair.

"It's alright, Miss," Trudy repeated again and squeezed my hand.

I covered my mouth with my other hand and tried to compose myself. What was happening to my life? Was this to be how it was going to be? Was I to live in constant fear?

Trudy smiled sympathetically at me. "Miss Rose, why don't you go to your room and I'll take care of this."

I wiped a tear from my cheek with a shaky hand. "I'm sorry, Trudy. I'm so very sorry you had to witness this," I whispered to her.

"Not to worry, Miss," Trudy shook her head. She stood and helped me to my feet. I staggered once and slightly fell against her. I was embarrassed to be seen this way. With gentle coaxing Trudy led me into my room and quietly shut the door behind us, so as not to alert my mother. I moved over to the bed and sat down, taking calming breaths as I did.

"I'll be back to help you dress for services, Miss. I shan't say anything to anyone about this. You can depend on my discretion."

"Thank you," I nodded and she turned and left me alone.

Sitting in the solitude of my room I was able to finally compose myself. I knew Cal's temper was erratic but I had never seen him manifest in such a way. Perhaps I had been too bold in my decision to go to the Third Class common room with Jack. Perhaps I had been too bold to go with Jack, period. I should have known Cal would find out, for Lovejoy had been my shadow since first leaving New York months ago. Everywhere I went, he was there watching me and reporting my actions back to Cal.

It was then that I realized the foolishness of my decision and I also realized that if I continued to flaunt my friendship with Jack in Cal's face, his reaction at breakfast would be mild in comparison, of that I had no doubt. I had no choice in the matter. I had to stay away from Jack Dawson regardless of how I felt when I was with him. For his protection as well as my own, we had to stay away from each other and that was the way it had to be.


	13. Sunday Prayer

**It seems I'm cleaning out the cobwebs and doing some much needed updating, lol. It's about time, too. This one has been sitting for far too long. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading and reviewing...**

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**Chapter Thirteen**

_**Sunday Prayer**_

A half an hour later I sat in front of my dressing table looking at myself. I looked completely normal except for the high spots of color on my cheeks. I couldn't get Cal's outburst out of my mind. I had never seen him so erratic, so possessive. It frightened me and yet even in my fear I had no where to turn to in hopes of escape.

Trudy tapped on the door and stepped inside, a smile on her kind face. "It'll be time for services soon, Miss. Are you ready to dress now?"

I stared at my reflection a moment longer and then turned away. I didn't want to look at myself anymore. "Yes," I answered and stood. I slid the dressing gown from my shoulders and handed it to her.

"Which will it be, ma'am?"

"The blue velvet, the one I had made before we sailed."

"Yes, ma'am. That one's lovely to be sure," she smiled and removed the dress from the wardrobe.

Trudy and I had long ago settled into the routine and ritual of dressing me. There were no need for words, we both knew what had to be done. I stepped into the corset and took hold of one the posters of the bed for support as she began to pull on the strings, tightening them with each tug.

There was a soft click of the door and my mother came sweeping in. "Tea, Trudy," she clipped as we both turned to her.

"Yes, ma'am," Trudy responded quickly. She knew my mother's tone and it wasn't wise to even hesitate.

Mother closed the door behind Trudy's retreating form and turned to me. Without a word, she strode over to me and lifted the strings of the corset and began pulling in hard, jerky movements. I could tell she was upset and there was only one reason I could think of. Cal had told her of Jack and what I had done the night before. I gripped the bedpost harder as she continued to pull and jerk on the corset strings.

"You're not to see that boy again. Do you understand me?"

Of course I understood, how could I not, I thought bitterly. I had broken the cardinal rule by even associating with him. When I didn't respond she raised her voice in displeasure. "Rose, I forbid it."

"Oh, stop it, Mother. You'll give yourself a nose bleed," I spouted before I could catch myself. Having already been castigated by Cal's harshness, her callous demeanor was like pouring salt into my wound. Suddenly, she grabbed me and spun me around. Her face was cold and unsympathetic and her words like steel.

"This is not a game. Our situation is precarious. You know the money's gone."

"Of course I know it's gone. You remind me everyday," I retorted. I had heard this speech more times than I cared to think about.

"Your father left us nothing but a legacy of debts hidden by a good name. That name is the only card we have to play," she paused for a moment to stare coldly at me. "I don't understand you. It's a fine match with Hockley. It will ensure our survival."

_Our survival…_ those words pierced me. "How can you put this on my shoulders?" I asked, hurt by her refusal to see how unhappy I was. Why couldn't she see what this was doing to me?

"Why are you being so selfish?" she snapped.

"_I'm_ being selfish?" I gasped in the face of her audacity. Then I saw my mother's hard façade crumble. Her features took on a haunted, fearful look.

"Do you want to see me working as a seamstress? Is that what you want? To see our fine things sold at auction… our memories scattered to the wind." Her voice broke and grabbed her mouth, turning from me.

No, I didn't want to see that happen, but there was something so infinitely wrong with what I was being forced to do. Why couldn't she see that?

"It's so unfair," I sighed wearily. She turned back to me then and I saw the desolation in her eyes.

"Of course it's unfair, we're women. Our choices are never easy," she said and I saw the hopelessness of not only my situation, but hers. She saw me as her way out and I had to carry that mantle whether I wanted to or not.

As she looked at me, her face softened and she stepped forward, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me softly on the cheek, urging me to be a good girl and do as I was told and what was expected of me. She slowly turned me around and began fitting me back in the corset.

I lowered my head, lost in the silence of my torment.

* * *

Services that morning were held in the dining salon and I stood between Cal and Mother as we sang. Captain Smith gave a wonderful sermon but my mind kept wandering in spite of my attempts to listen.

I thought of Jack even though I shouldn't have. He had such life and spirit about him, a quick wit and easy smile, too. How I longed to be like him, to talk to him once more but that was simply out of the question. If I had any doubt of the route my life was to take, the reactions from both Cal and Mother had clearly defined them for me.

"I hope you are listening, dear. I wouldn't want the Captain to think you weren't paying attention to him," Cal said quietly next to me. I turned to him and saw the knowing look in his eye. I smiled sweetly to mask my aversion of him and turned my attention back to the Captain.

After services, we had a light brunch in the Cafe Parisien. We were joined by Mr. Andrews, Mr. and Mrs. Carter and Mr. Ismay.

I sat quietly listening to them talk around me. Every now and then Cal would reach over and take my hand, kissing it softly. Everyone smiled at his show of affection but I knew that's what it was, a show. There was no emotion behind the action and I was not moved by it in any way.

Mr. Andrews must have sensed my melancholy. His kind eyes were watching me keenly as he suggested a tour of the boat deck and wheelhouse. "It's a lovely day, Miss Rose. Perhaps the air will do you good."

"That's a splendid idea," Cal beamed. "Shall we, sweetpea?"

Mr. Andrews smiled at me and I found myself agreeing. "That would be lovely," I said.

The tour started on the port bow and continued until we reached the wheelhouse. Several officers, including Captain Smith were busily monitoring the complicated gauges and switches when we entered. Mr. Andrews eagerly began showing us the intricate panels and explaining how each one would work.

Cal strolled over to the large, square cut windows to peer outside. I stood next to mother as Mr. Andrews continued with his talk.

"As you can see, it's all quite fascinating," Captain Smith lightly teased when Mr. Andrews concluded. "However, it is a quite an accomplishment and I have never sailed a more sound vessel."

"That's a comfort to know," Mother said with assurance. "And why do you have two steering wheels?"

"We really only use this near shore," Mr. Andrews pointed out.

A young steward entered at that moment and handed Captain Smith a thin slip of paper. "Excuse me, sir, another ice warning. This one from the Nordam."

"Thank you, Sparks," the Captain intoned as the young man then turned away. Obviously, the captain noted our looks of concern which he quickly to put rest. "Oh, not to worry, quite normal for this time of year. In fact, we're speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit."

Satisfied with his answer, Mother and Cal expressed their desire to continue on and so we did. I, however, couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. But, who was I to question the captain's knowledge and experience? If he wasn't concerned, then neither should I be, I concluded. I took Cal's arm as we left the wheelhouse and made our way down to the boat deck.


	14. They've got you trapped

**This is a short chapter, but I felt the need to update since I haven't in so long. **

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

"_**They've got you trapped"**_

The tour with Mr. Andrews was quite interesting and more informative than I imagined it would be. I forgot my problems for a while as he talked about the many, many intricacies of running a ship the size and stature of the _Titanic._

As we made our way down the boat deck, I addressed one issue that had been on my mind from nearly the start of the tour. "Mr. Andrews, forgive me, but I've done the sum in my head and with the number of lifeboats times the capacity you've mentioned, forgive me, but it seems there's not enough for everyone aboard."

"About half, actually," he responded with a surprised and yet pleased smile. "Rose, you miss nothing, do you?"

I know I should have felt warmed by the compliment, but I didn't. It seemed to me that by not having enough lifeboats for every passenger, it put many people at risk if something, God forbid, should happen while we were out to sea.

"In fact," he continued. "I put in these new type davits which could take a whole row of boats inside this one but it was thought, by some, that the deck would look too cluttered. So, I was overruled."

Cal passed us at that point and slapped his cane against the hull of one of the lifeboats. "A waste of deck space as it is for an unsinkable ship," he said as my mother smiled up at him and took his arm.

"Sleep well, young Rose, I have built you a good ship, strong and true," Mr. Andrews assured me. "She's all the lifeboat you'll need. Keep heading aft," he pointed. "The next stop will be the engine room."

I had barely made two steps when I felt a hand touch my arm. I turned, and to my surprise, I was looking at Jack. "Come on," he whispered urgently and pulled me. Frantically I looked back to Mother and Cal in hopes that they had not seen me with him. After the morning episodes with both of them, I didn't want to risk being caught with him in a compromising position.

He opened the door to the gym and pulled me in. I stepped inside and waited for him to turn to me. "Jack," I started quickly when he did. "This is impossible, I can't see you." I tried to push past him, but he pinned me to the wall and held me there.

"I just want to talk to you," he pleaded.

"No, Jack," I told him. I was frightened for him, I was frightened for myself. If Cal saw me with Jack I knew he would do more than turn over a table. I couldn't put Jack at risk like that, so the only recourse I had was to never see him again.

"I'm engaged, Jack. I'm marrying Cal. I love Cal," I said weakly hoping I sounded more convincing than I felt, but Jack's expression gave me my answer.

"Rose, you're no picnic… you're a spoiled little brat even. But, under that you're the most astounding, wonderful girl," he paused, "woman, I've ever known. And-"

"Jack, no," I couldn't hear more. I tried to push him away again. Couldn't he see how impossible this was?

"Let me get this out," he persisted as he held me. "You're amazing," and then he stopped and closed his eyes before opening them and looking straight at me. "I'm not an idiot. I know how the world works. I have ten bucks in my pocket and I have nothing to offer you and I know that… I understand. But, I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn away without knowing you're alright. That's all I want."

I couldn't let his words persuade me. Jack and I were on opposite ends of the universe and I didn't belong in his world and he didn't belong in mine. My choices had been made long ago and I had to live with it. Jack had no place in my life no matter how he made me feel or what I felt for him. I stared back at him pushed my emotions aside.

"Well, I'm fine, I'll be fine… really," I answered him.

"Really?" he replied softly. "I don't think so. They've got you trapped, Rose and you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but sooner or later that fire I love about you, Rose, that fire is gonna burn out."

He had reached up to touch my face while he was speaking and it was all I could do to continue standing there. I couldn't look at him, it was too hard. In his face I saw all of the feelings that should not have been there. "It's not up to you save me, Jack."

"You're right, only you can do that."

For a moment, for a brief and wild moment I wanted to jump into his arms and forget my life as it was. I wanted to forget Cal and everything associated with him, but I could not. There were too many responsibilities, too many ties to hold me down. I _was_ trapped, but there was nothing I could do about it and neither could he.

"I'm going back, leave me alone," I pushed past him and made my way back down the deck to join Mother and Cal. When I joined them, Cal turned to me, frowning.

"Sweet pea, just where did you get off to?"

"I'm sorry, darling," I smiled and took his arm, hoping he wouldn't be able to read my true feelings. "I was looking at the boats and lost track of myself."

"Boats? I can't imagine why? It's not as if we're going to actually use them," he scoffed and adjusted his hat.

"Of course," I smiled slightly and looked back over my shoulder. I didn't see Jack, but somehow I knew he was watching us and I felt my heart shudder in misery. I didn't want him to care because it wouldn't change anything… anything at all.


End file.
